I have a bit of an issue a la Carrie Bradshaw in the episode - A Womens Right to Shoes of SATC.
I have a friend from back in the school days era…who is getting married next weekend. I am really pleased for her as she seems very happy and content. C & T got engaged early last year and also moved into the house they had just bought – so they combined their engagement and housewarming together. I’ll admit that I was a little shocked when I got an invitation to the party because I could probably count the number of times I’ve seen her since school days. Never-the-less I went with the girls and we each chucked in $25 each for an Egyptian cotton towel set.
A few months later I got an invitation to her 21st birthday party ( I know, 21 is VERY young to be getting married) so of course we went to take advantage of the free booze and food. Oh and also spent $50 each on a gift voucher for a wedding package at a luxury spa as her present.
Fast forward 10 months and I get an envelope the size of a package in the mail – invitations for the Kitchen Tea/Bridal Shower, Hens Night and of course, the wedding.
She had her Kitchen Tea first. I did consider not going to this because I can’t think of anything worse than spending an afternoon with drunken old ladies making a wedding dress out of toilet paper. But I did the right thing and went for a few hours…taking with me my share ($25) of the $150 gift voucher for a Home and Garden place she’s been raving about.
Then we had the Hens Night (probably the only thing I was really looking forward to) which consisted of a bus to pick us up and drive us around all night… $25 each. Then onto Pole Dancing lesson with champers…$35.00 per person. Then a Comedy Cruise on the Harbour at $60 a head. Then onto whatever sleezy bar in Cockle Bay Wharf we could drag her into. That’s $120 before you include alcohol throughout the night (and trust me…there was A LOT of drinking)
With the wedding coming up next weekend – I’ll be up for another $100 for the ‘Wishing Well’ that we are contributing to at the Wedding. And don’t even get started on the fact that I’ll probably be up for a new dress and/or heels for the day/night.
So that’s a grand total of $320!!! Now, I know you don’t give presents to receive them in return…but unless I get engaged, married, become pregnant and move house any time soon there’s not way C & T will spend that amount of money on me as we don’t buy birthday presents for each other - we are lucky to even catch up for drinks for our birthdays.
I guess I shouldn’t complain…I’m lucky that a group of my pals are also invitees and we’re able to all chuck in for a present and get out of it reasonably cheap while still giving a decent present. In saying that, I would've much rather not spend little amounts here and there and just give me a $250 wedding present.
Perhaps I’ll send out invitations letting people know I am marrying myself and that I have my gift registry set up at Manolo Blahnik. Or maybe they'd like to contribute to my 'honeymoon' registry at Flight Centre =)
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12 comments:
I agree with you... waste of money.. better to spend it on yourself!!
That's very interesting!
I would definitly picked only one or two (probably only one) of all those occassions for the present. Surely you were invited for your company, not your goods?
Maybe you should combine wedding gifts with your last post about donating to charities. Instead of buying them gifts ask them which charity they would like you to donate to.
The whole getting married thing is such a scam! A girl I went to high school with, invited me to her Bachelorette party ($25 for the bus and drink), her shower (another $25 gift), and the actually wedding ($30ish gift). I don't even like her! Needless to say I responded no, I don't have 80+ bucks to drop on her!
Stuff like that adds up fast.
Just the other day, I realized that I spend $1500 a year on Lattes...
There was a "dear abby" type letter about this in the paper today! She said you should throw yourself a "happily single party" and that people should buy gifts off of your registry just like they would for a weddding. She said that since more then 50% of women choose to stay single now that it's the totally cool thing to do!
It sure does add up. We're off to a wedding in a couple of weeks and still don't have any idea what to get. It has to be within our price range, but also something thoughtful and fantastic - how the hell do you come up with that?!
I've blogged about this before. My solution was a "No i'm not getting fucking married money, but buy me stuff anyway" party.
I think it could really take off.
Simon: That's my opinion =)
Ju's: Looking back I wish I had've just brought one or two presents. I'm sure I was invited for my company. Th bride doesnt have a big circle of friends so I guess people that she would invite to her wedding - I maybe wouldn't to mine.
Nikinpos: That's a great idea... I really think I'll do that next time...If they don't mind if we give them a present or not (like the little poem in the invitation said) they would be happy for me to donate on behalf of them.
Wisco: I'll definitely think twice to accepting wedding invitations to people who I normally wouldn't spend a penny on.
Stormin Mormon: I don't even want to think about how much I spend on skinny hot chocs. =)
Todd: I like that idea. Although considering she is the only one of my friends who is married...I might have to wait a few years
Kass: I hear ya!!! You don't wanna look like a tight ass - but don't wanna spend a lot at the same time! I'd try going to markets for some great one of peices.
Steph: Haha - let me know how your party goes!!! I think your onto something!
I beat SM on coffee. $1800 on coffee last year.
I hate buying presents for weddings... I deliberately decline invites to weddings unless I know its an open bar and I can drink what I've spent on a gift in booze.
Sad, but true.
lol. I can totally relate to these stresses. I think the charity option is a good one, or just not accepting the invite. I guess you can start planning now for how you will handle the baby shower and kids birthdays etc... tehehe.
I've had that rant a million times, usually after a few vinos ;-)
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